Final Barrier

And so Hb accompanied me to check in to PMC on Tuesday (17-July-2012) morning.

9.30am... While waiting for registration to be done, I suddenly had stomachache. It was so bad that I had to run to the loo. Unfortunately, there wasn't any toilet paper and by that time the urge to release has subsided so I "tahan-ed" until we reached the room.

10.00am... we were in the room waiting di. When the nurse came in to do a quick briefing, I again had this intense abdominal pain so I told her that I needed to go to the loo and that it might take long. Shortly after I came out of the loo, I had another urgent urge to go and had to kick Hb out of the loo. After going twice, my tummy was finally more settled.

The nurse came in and asked if I had diarrhea. So when I said yes, she chuckled and said maybe it was due to hospital phobia / stress. I was told to fast and to change into the hospital robe cos she needs to shave my erm down there. Lucky thing I was smarter this time round, I shaved myself over the weekend and upon inspection, the nurse said it was good enough!

3.00pm... Was supposed to be wheeled in at 2pm but was only wheeled in at 3pm. Again the same routine. The 1st stop was a tunnel like in between the wards and the 2nd stop. It was here that I was asked to climb onto another bed. The 2nd stop was the waiting area before being wheeled into the operating theater. It was at the 2nd stop that a doctor came and attach a needle tube into the back of my hand. The pain was so sharp and intense! My doctor popped by to ask me how I was too and to tell me that his earlier op took longer than expected hence mine was delayed.

4.30pm... I was finally wheeled into the operating theater. The nurses removed my robe and covered it on me along with a blanket. This time round it was better cos they allowed me to put on a blanket so it wasn't too cold. I was kinda worried cos up till this moment, anesthetic was not administered on me yet which meant that I was still fully alert of what's happening around me as well as the casual conversations that the doctors and nurses were having.

As soon as an oxygen mask was put on, I inhaled ultra deeply so that I could be knocked out soon but nothing happened. As I was inhaling deeply, the anesthetic doctor started injecting into the tube attached to the back of my hand and told me I am about to go into a deep sleep. At that point, I was still inhaling deeply... That was the last recollection I had.

5.00pm... By the time I woke up, I was back at the 2nd stop but this time with a massive period like cramp. Asked the male nurse for painkiller so he gave me a jab. It was about 5-ish then. Waited for over 45min before they finally wheeled me back to the 1st stop.  

5.45pm... By the time they wheeled me back to my room, Hb was already standing there smiling at me. Am so thankful that he was there with me throughout the whole ordeal.

Unlike the previous surgery, I was knocked out for several hours after the op, this time round I was already wide awake hence Hb helped me change into my own clothes. The nurse said I must ring the bell for assistance for my first pee after the surgery but then I was feeling ok so I went myself cos I had the urge to poo again. Thankfully I didn't faint in the loo.

9.30pm... That night, my parents, my bro and his newly registered wife popped by for a surprise visit. The hard thing was to go through the ordeal but the harder thing was to put up a brave front to face my parents. Knowing them, the slightest discomfort I have will make them worry endlessly. So yeah, thankfully all was ok. Since I was on painkiller still, I was feeling ok despite the constant menstrual like flow and the lower abdominal pain.

Hb making me my breakfast... with <3! :)
Hopefully this will be the final barrier before we achieve our dreams... :)

The Day We Lost It

Today Hb and I went back to PMC to see Dr. Edmund. He did a vaginal scan to try and locate my embryo and hopefully detect a heartbeat. Unfortunately, he said it didn't develop and that I have most likely miscarriaged without knowing it...

We then scheduled for the surgery date the following week; the sooner the better.

Hb and I felt sad of course. We lost our baby. It was only 6 weeks old. But then again, because it was fighting for nutrients with the polyp and that I was spotting throughout, the condition looked grim right from the start. I took 2 home pregnancy tests over the weekend and both turned out negative so I was half prepared that it didn't make it. But when the reality sinked in, it was kind of painful.

Bun in the Oven?

Despite fear, went ahead to see Dr. Edmund Lai at PMC, Cheras on 3-July. It was day 13 and I was still bleeding. Upon pap smear, as expected there was a black shadow. But thank god he said it was a polyp. Was imagining it to be worst! Thereafter, was told to then produce a urine sample.

Hb and I were discussing options with regards to the polyp. Was given 2 options. Either I take medication to let it reduce in size and fall out itself or I go for a surgery to remove it just like the previous time back in 2009. The first one is painless but it may take ages and there's no guarantee that it will work. Thus we are only left with the second option. The size of the polyp this time round is double the size of the first one; measuring approximately 1.8cm and is located at my uterus lining. We asked Dr. Edmund why it came back and he said there's a 10% reoccurrence.

Before we could even dwell further, the nurse quietly put a pregnancy test strip on the table. It has 2 visible red lines. Both Hb and I thought nothing of it. When Dr. Edmund said I am pregnant, we were still feeling blur about it. We were like "Pregnant? But I just got my period and as a matter of fact, am still bleeding?!". In May, my period came on the 16th. In June, my period was 4 days late and I've been bleeding for 13 days in a row! The doctor then said that there are 2 possible reasons for this: either the polyp has been bleeding or my vaginal could be bleeding due to the pregnancy.

This meant that the so-called period I had was not really period! He did a quick count and said that I am ~6 weeks pregnant. I asked if I should feel happy now and he said to hang on cos the embryo will be fighting for nutrients with the polyp. And any form of bleeding during pregnancy has to be treated with care. With that, he gave me a week of Duphaston to protect my pregnancy and I was to return a week later for a check up.

The past few days, I've been googling and searching forums for women like me, who is pregnant but experience no symptoms at all. No morning sickness, no frequent urination, no sore breasts. So much so that I wonder if the pregnancy strip was accurate. Am kinda worried for my baby. Next visit, hopefully baby's still there with a STRONG HEARTBEAT! Supposed that's when the reality of pregnancy will kick in. Fingers crossed!

On a separate note, going back to Dr. Edmund Lai was the best decision ever. Last year, I decided to try out a female doctor and therefore visited this gynae in Taman Desa Medical. She was so rough and I was in so much pain. The horrific experience left me fearing visits to gynae. Thank gawd Dr. Edmund was gentle.

South Korea

Just realized I've not done a single post on our honeymoon to South Korea in Jan 2010. OMG!!! The details are hazy now and I can't remember half the places we went!!!