Hmmm... it wasn't my intention to write about what I wear so often... But so happens, the day I chose to wear a dress to work (which is like once in a million years), my colleague wore a near identical one. And the best thing is... this is also the first dress she wore to work:

Everyone who saw us together would go:

• Wahhh... like sisters....
• Woahhh... got hot date ar???
• Hmmm, uniform of the day???
• You gals look the same!!!

Initially, our answers were: No la, different motifs... look clearly!

But after the entire day of answering the same thing we grew tired. So now when asked, we say:

• Ya, we got hot kinky date tonight! Wanna join?

Pui!

Never had I been so conscious of what I wear before...
Today, I opted to wear the "baju kurung" that I've only worn once before...
But this "baju kurung" is different from the normal sort...
The skirt is the type that you'll need to wrap around and tie (like a beach "sarung")...

And as usual there were many meetings to attend...
But when I stood up to leave one of the meetings, I felt uneasy...
Not sure why but I looked at my skirt and to my horror...
I discovered that one part of the skirt slipped and a small portion of my thigh was exposed!
It was a damn good thing that the "baju" was long enough!
Else god knows what else will be exposed!

But lucky thing I was on my way out, so I casually held on to my skirt and hurried to the loo...
For the rest of the afternoon, I had to like check on my skirt every 10min or so...
Until I found someone with a safety pin...

Anyway, I'm soooooooooooooo not gonna wear that stupid skirt again...
Either that or I'd stock up a truckload of safety pins!

Today someone mentioned something bout the importance of having a dream... no not the dream that you experience during sleep... the dream here refers to a goal, an objective... something that you want to achieve someday and sometime (and hopefully in this lifetime).

For the lucky ones, dreams do come true but for others, a dream may remain just a dream forever and eventually be forgotten. Some may see it as an act of building castle in the air... but really, everything starts from a dream. With a dream, there is an intention and with an intention, hopefully there is a conscious action in making it happen. It requires strict focus, long term diligence and effort. That's how dreams come true (of course with the right dose of luck, right timing, right resources, right knowledge and other necessary ingredients to the mix too)!

Then I asked myself... What is my dream? And the most ridiculous thought came to my mind instantly... I wanna be a rich tai-tai (and I've always wanted to be one for as long as I could remember)! Call me shallow, call me whatever but yup that's my dream! Will I ever achieve my dream? Chances are... NAH! Why? It's simple really... There has been no action from my part in making it happen. Rather than going places where rich fellas hangout like corporate luncheons / dinners / galas / whatever la, I'd rather leave it to fate i.e. if it happens, it happens...

So hmmm... that's obviously really just a "dream" that will likely not come true. So I prompted myself to think a bit deeper as to what I really wanna have / do (in my lifetime)...
Then, traveling came to mind. I wanna travel around the world! I want to be able to visit as many countries as possible. To experience as many different types of cultures, try as many different types of cuisine / delicacies, meet as many "nice" people around the globe, have the time of my life shopping at different continents in the world etc etc...

And again... WTF??? How the hell am I supposed to achieve that when I barely have the time for myself or enough to spend every month???

Maybe that too doesn't really qualify as a dream... Although it is the ultimate goal / lifestyle that I want but what's lacking is the bridge in between (the short term goals)... what the fuck am I supposed to do in order to have those.... what is it that I really like to do and at the same time will get me to the "final destination" that I have in mind?

So again... I asked myself... (knock knock... think harder!) what is my dream?
Try as I might... I couldn't think of any...

Some of my friends have really clear dreams and step by step short term goals to achieve it... take this one for instance:
- Start up a restaurant but start it small
- Eventually when it's big enough / profitable enough, quit day time job to run it full time
- When the brand name's established, begin having chains nationwide
- The finally franchising... like Coffee Bean etc
- End game: Moolah... ka ching!

Then it struck me that all these while... I had been living one day at a time... get good grades in school (cos that's expected), get a good job (and accumulate material gains)... then eventually, get a good husband and work towards building a future for our family (including education funds for our children, bigger house, bigger car, fatter paycheck) then plan for our retirement, grow old and D-I-E!

WTF man!!! That's just so fucking B-I-T-T-E-R!!!

All along, I've forgotten to even stop and ask myself what I really want to do! I have been sacrificing my personal interests that till now I don't even know what my interests are anymore! No wonder I'm always moody... I'm like a fucking ship lost in the middle of a wide ocean with no direction what-so-ever! Now is this fucked up or is this fucked up...?!?!

Sigh... So anyway, while I think about my dream, care to share yours? What is your dream and what are your plans to achieve them?

Vanity comes with a price.

Went to the salon on Sat and Sun...

Sat to straighten and Sun to colour...

And on both days, I went home dead tired...

Try sitting for hoursss at the salon...

Afterall awhile, even their nice coffee tastes bland...

And magazines bore the shit out of you...

Then there will be nothing to do but to snap your own photo:

The result?

OK but it didn't lift my mood as I expected it to...

Sigh and it's only Monday!

This week, I've been experimenting with a different routine at work.

Typically... this is how I spend my time at work:

• 09am - 12pm: Official working hours
• 12pm - 02pm: Skip lunch to continue working
• 02pm - 06pm: Official working hours
• 06pm - xxpm/am: Work
• Dinner's usually at about 10pm

But this week, it was slightly different:

• 09am - 12pm: Official working hours
• 12pm - 02pm: Skip lunch to continue working
• 02pm - 06pm: Official working hours
• 06pm - 09pm: Happy hours (but coffee ni...)
• Dinner also at about 10pm
• 10pm - xxpm/am: Work

As you can see, the only change to the routine was the "happy hour" sessions that I have with my colleagues... Why the sudden change? I guess it was because of the following reasons:

• I'm slowly turning into a psycho bitch (count the number of hours I spend at work... think I spend more time with my laptop than anyone else in the world)
• I'm under-nourished (altho coffee doesn't count as anything nutritious, it was better than munching secretary's biscuits at odd hours)
• I needed human interactions (apart from work-related topics) but am too lazy to drive all the way out to meet friends
• I needed to unwind (have been feeling sibeh down lately)

I must admit that it was fun to have regular "talk cock" sessions with colleagues. But the only drawback to this is that, I have to resume working at 11pm or so till wee hours in the morning. And I think this whole week, I looked like shit... (think: eye bags, dark circles, messy hair...). So much so that when my boss jokingly introduced me to a new colleague, he said this:

• This is "maemee". She used to be pretty. But now hor, she's very "cincai" di... hair is always messy... see... today just one clip to tie her hair back. Eyes are always swollen... sometimes she looks like a panda :)

Needless to say, when I started talking to my new colleague, the conversation steered from work related to something more personal... i.e. how old am I... I told him to take a guess and boy oh boy was I embarrassed...

• He said: E-A-R-L-Y T-H-I-R-T-I-E-S ???

Think I nearly died on the spot!

So anyway, do let me know how you spend your weekdays? I need to know if I'm "normal" and if not... how to be one again!

I was talking to my colleague about nothing in particular over a cuppa coffee. Then we started talking about the need to settle down given the fact that we're slowly but surely aging. Then it strike me that many a times, we find ourselves either doubting our other half (if we're attached) or longing to play the field in search for someone "perfect" (if we're still single).

If you find that the description above describes your state now, perhaps it's good to go through this story from the net about love and marriage:

What is Love?

• A student asked a teacher: "What is love?"
• The teacher said: "In order to answer your question, go to the padi field and come back with the biggest padi. But the rule is: You can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick"
• The student went to the padi field, while going through the first row he saw one big padi but he wonders... that maybe there is a bigger one later on
• Then as he continued walking, he saw another big one... but again, he kept thinking that there would probably be an even bigger one waiting for him at the end of field
• Later, when he has finished more than half of the padi field, he realised that the padi there were not as big as the ones he saw before... and deep in his heart, he knew he has missed the biggest one and boy... how he regretted!
• So in the end, he went back to the teacher empty handed
• The teacher then told him: "This is love. You keep looking for a better one only to realise later that you've already missed THE ONE"

What is Marriage?

• "What is marriage then?" the student asked
• The teacher said: "In order to answer your question, go to the corn field and come back with the biggest corn. But the rule is: You can only go through them once and you cannot turn back to pick"
• The student went to the corn field but this time, he is careful not to repeat the previous mistake
• When he reached the middle of the field, he has picked a medium corn that he is satisfied with and proceeded back to the teacher
• The teacher told him: "This time, you brought back a corn. You look for one that is just nice, one that you have faith and believe in... and one that you think is the best you can get... this is marriage"

My views:

More often that not, we find ourselves doubting if the man we're dating is indeed 'THE ONE'. But is there really a definite answer of really knowing? To me, I think there are a few ways of looking at both the stories stated above. Consider the following alternatives:

• Find a padi that is BIG and carry it with you while you search for an even BIGGER padi (the rule did not specify that you cannot carry a padi while looking for the other one). Thus if this is interpreted in our modern world, it generally means, play the field and be "Attached but Available" while searching for Mr. Perfect... OR
• Cheat. Walk through the entire padi field and although it was stated that you cannot go through it twice, do it anyway but do it discreetly (consider crawling on your belly so that others can't see you?)

Well, you may think the above options are despicable but really, look around you and you'd soon realise that a lot of people are doing all sorts of nonsensical stuff in what they call their pursuits of true love.

• As for me... dunno la... maybe be 'kiasu' and hang on to the first corn in sight and hang on to it until it rots? (Then there's a perfect reason to go through the field again... )

You know the saying that goes: "Once bitten, twice shy"... well, the 2nd time the guy went back (this time to a corn field), he wasn't as greedy as before. And though he came back with a corn this time - ponder... upon this:

• If you follow his approach, does it mean that you'd rather go back with a corn in hand (no matter what size) than not to have any corn at all?
• If yes, does that mean that whatever corn you picked, you'll trick and convince yourself that that's the best corn you can get?
• If this is really the case, then is there really a need to ponder if he is the right one for afterall, you've convinced yourself that this is the best you can get and have even selected / agreed to be selected...

So really, just like what my girl friend said... it's all in the mind... your own mind. Only you can decide if the guy is truly worthwhile (BIGGEST corn around) and there won't be any teacher around who can guide you... but your own heart and instincts. It's ultimately you who decides what you want and also you who decides if your other half truly lives up to your expectations.
Sigh... easier said than done... I know...

Just got back from the hospital after visiting Ah Ong's grandmother.
I wasn't very close to her, but everytime I see her, she'll go into a story telling about her life...
And tho my Hokkien was half baked, I could understand her...

When she was younger, she was sold into a wealthy household...
Both as a bride to the young "master" and a maid...
Eventually, she managed to escape from the "prison"...
Met Ah Ong's grandfather and fell in love...
They then "migrated" to Malaysia...
But her happiness was short-lived for Ah Ong's grandfather passed away early...
She had to look after her children... think 4 girls and 1 boy... and raise them single-handedly...

Ah Ong's grandmother used to be a very chatty old lady...
She will hold on to your hand and go into her story telling...
But today, when I visited her at the hospital, she could barely recognise me...
Lying there, she looked sooooooooo thin and frail...
Doctor said she only has about 2 more months to live...
Which is why, everyday there is somebody at the hospital to accompany her...

After visiting her, I was choked with emotions...
From a chatty old lady, she's now all bones and barely has any energy to talk...

Live is short.
You never know what will happen today let alone tomorrow...
So work smart, but play even harder...
And while you're in the pursuit of material gains, do not forget the people around you...
Remember to cherish them and let them know how important they are to you...
Don't take them for granted... for you'll live to regret it later on...
It doesn't take too much to say or to show them you care...
You'll be surprised what small tiny gestures of appreciation means to them...

So ya... tonight, I'll be taking my parents to Victoria for a nice family dinner...
Remember to cherish those who matters to you!