Truly 18PL

It was one of those hot Saturday afternoon where nothing beats being a couch potato with air-cond on full blast. I wasn't watching anything in particular but came across this old mandarin speaking movie (starring "Ti Lung"). The movie was a thorough shock to the mind... that after 3 days, I can still remember the gory details:

Plot
About this military trainer who were newly recruited to train a bunch of lazy soldiers. Not only were these soldiers lazy, they were into all form of vices: prostitution, gambling, drinking etc etc. So when he came, he whipped them real hard and eventually they turned over a new leaf. But the new change was not welcomed by the local thug who also owns the prostitute and gambling houses. After several warnings and pressure from his superiors, the trainer decided to revoke his command in barring all soldiers from vices.

But then hor, by then the soldiers were all very "guai" already and instead of performing immoral activities, they prefer playing "tarik tali" in the camp. So this angered the local thug even more... now comes to gory bit:

This local thug has a close connection to one of the powerful eunuch. So as a revenge, they abducted this local trainer's son by force and named him one of the potential young eunuch to be castrated. Poor boy was locked in a dungeon where 2 "ah gua" looking males castrate them one by one. When the local trainer went to see his son, they performed a sample castration in front of him. Altho they didn't specifically show how and where they cut... it was gory enough...

  • One boy is to be castrated at one time
  • There's this wooden plank that they are tied to (with metal chains)
  • And they are striped naked
  • A fat white candle is then inserted into the poor boy's mouth... so that there is something for him to bite on to prevent him from accidentally biting off his own tongue (after the whole ordeal, the candle remains were all over the boy's body in a pool of shit like liquid - too much pressure from biting)
  • Then the "ah gua" will hold on to his private part and poooooop, blood scatters everywhere followed by a loooooooong wail from the poor boy and he's considered castrated

So anyway, the poor local trainer went and begged the eunuch to release his only son and needless to say, he was turned down immediately. But then that's when the local thug came in and said that he will release the trainer's son provided that this local trainer resigns from his post and leave the town forever. The trainer agreed immediately but there was another condition! His son will only be returned to him 4 days later at an inn (out of town) to prevent him from rebelling. Unfortunately 4 days later, when they returned his son, his son was already castrated.

So mad with fury, he went into town and started his killing spree all along looking for the bad local thug. They proceeded to fight and fight with blood splattering all over and things being broken along the way. But in the end, the trainer gave the local thug his own medicine...

  • First he broke all the bones in his body
  • Then he dragged him to the dungeon where his son was castrated
  • After tying him to the wooden plank, he aimed his sword at the thug's private part
  • By now, the poor thug was already screaming and begging away
  • And eventually started peeing in his pants
  • But the trainer did what he set out to do, he castrated the thug himself

Along the story, they also showed how prostitutes were abused:

  • Prostitutes were forced to drink some herbal concoction to abort their child, regardless of whether they consent or not
  • Or how they were beaten, raped and killed when they angered the local thug

So anyway, all in all I would say that this movie fits the 18PL category perfectly. In fact if there is a rating of 10 for violence, sex and the combination of both, this movie will get 10 out of 10 and would most probably rank no.1. Definitely not a movie for the entire family and definitely not something I want to watch again!

Asshole of the Century!

The dumbest thing happened today...
  • Colleague: Sth sth bout YY...
  • Me: While you're at it, maybe you could evaluate YY. You won't be going back so soon right, can we like have a short discussion after this... I'm going for a meeting now
  • Colleague: Oh ok... you can send me all the stuff and I'll take a look at it
  • Me: OK (In my heart, I was thinking: Wah not bad... pretty efficient)
But halfway through the meeting, the same colleague called:
  • Colleague: I really need to escalate this to you. The MM folks went ahead and presented XX and it was approved without the new YY component. Now they have the chit to tell me to stay back and get it done for them tonight. I really can't do it. I got project A, B, C, D and E...
Halfway along the line, I've already suspected that he was trying to call his boss but accidentally called me instead... so I calmly said: Hi (colleague's name). I think you've got the wrong number. This is (my name)...
  • Colleague: - S . I . L . E . N. C . E - (Proceeded to talk as if he meant to call me all along) I hope you understand... I'm really very tied up... I got project A, B, C, D and E...
  • Me: I totally understand. You could've told me earlier and I would understand it. Don't have to resort to escalating unnecessarily...
  • Colleague: I'll try to see if I can finish it on Monday for you...
  • Me: It's ok. I'll update my boss on this. Anyhow, I've already gotten what I need for this. But since this is an additional component I thought it would be good if your team takes a look at it first, but no worries... I have sufficient $$... so it's ok...
  • Colleague: Proceeded to blah blah blah about how tied up he was
Now what I don't like is this:
  • If you have an issue - be a MAN! Raise it there and then! I'm not you! I dunno how you think or how you function and besides, this falls under your scope and I'm just following the process. Don't be a cry baby running to your boss for nothing!
  • Be HONEST you scumbag! Did I say I wanted it tonight? Did I ask you to stay back? My meeting was at 4.30pm... work ends 6pm... Did I ask you to stay back? You must be suffering from some chronic deafness or something?
  • Don't PRETEND to be efficient when you're not! You're just a fucking lazy ass with a big title and an even bigger empty brain!
Now isn't that the dumbest thing???

Gadgets

Hmmm... I was searching high and low for a file earlier when I came across this:


Those were the gadgets that I used to own for the past 6 or 7 years... on an average, each phone lasts about 6 months... hehehehehe... but that was long ago... now I'm different or rather, this year I aim to be different. Instead of spending on gadgets, think I'd save up for more holidays! Hehehehe...

But ahem... might as well update on the other gadgets that I own la right... Not a lot la...

OSIM uZap
When it first launched... I told myself I MUST have it... I mean, how can anyone not see that this is the key to every women's desire of staying shapely... OSIM should probably hire me to copy write for them man... e.g.:

Sick and tired of being labeled a fat ass? Fret no more... with uZap, ZAP your tummy 10 times a day for 365 days for a brand new slimmer you...


  • Are you suffering from low self esteem and low morale? Overly conscious of what others think of you? Shape your saggy ass with OSIM uZap now. Zap it every day and night for the perky ass you've always wanted!


And I must say, my "dream" came true... Got this as a gift on Valentine's Day last year and how many times have I used it? Hehehehe... ya you probably guessed it right... less than 10 times and now... it has a permanent spot in my cupboard :P




OGAWA Eye & Brain Relaxer
This is another one of those massaging machine that my bf bought me. It's called an eye & brain relaxer. But everytime I use it, the areas around my eyes itch. And after a few times, I self deduced that I could be allergic to it and ahem... it now lies in one of the chest drawers.


Abtronic
I bought this out of impulse as I was lazing around watching SmartShop. Some wonderful slimming belt that could help tone your abdomen and works wonder. And knowing SmartShop, the models that they used and the testimonials from fatso-s around the world made it sound damn convincing so ya... I was conned. You need to use water-based gel with this damn thing. Else you'd risk electrocuting yourself k!



Sony Ericsson K800i. This is the phone that I'm using now. Nearly all the photos here are snapped using this phone... thanks to the powerful 3.2MP CyberShot. And because it's from Sony Ericsson, I think it's damn intelligent. Plus I can post straight to Blogger from this phone and it has a search powered by Google. Hehehehe... I've promised my family that I will not waste anymore money on phones... so... I guess I'll be using this phone for a longgggggggg time more... 0_*

Bend Baby Bend

For the first time in the past 2 weeks, I left work at 6pm sharp. I've been skipping yoga lessons like mad cos I had been extremely busy at work. But since the teacher text me yesterday and the fact that my yoga mat is full of dust, I thought I should continue my lessons.

So anyway... when I went there... I was surprised to note that all my other classmates were no longer there... instead, they were replaced by a new bunch of aunties...

5min before the class starts, we were supposed to meditate - think: cross legged, backs straight, eyes closed... but as I was meditating, I heard this LOUD conversation (nabeh ah... don't they know they're not supposed to talk so damn much in classes?)

  • Auntie A: Aiyar... you know ar... I've gained like 1kg from CNY. Ate too much la... So easy to gain but so difficult to loose
  • Auntie B: Go swimming la... swimming is a good way of losing weight what...
  • Auntie A: Swimming??!!! Dowan la... so troublesome... must wear swim suit, must wear cap and put sun block... then after swimming, skin will be dry... also must slap on lotion, then hair also damage cos you know... chlorine... then must shower and change... aiyer so mafan la... too bad yoga can't help you loose weight
  • At that point, the conversation steered towards hair!

If you ask me hor... Auntie A... here's the advise for you:

  • Refrain eating like a pig. Simply because it's the year of pig, it's doesn't mean that you have to be one...
  • If you failed to do the above, niarrrrmind. Starve yourself silly... Talking about it in class will not bring you anywhere. Plus, you stupid bitch, you are disturbing the concentration of other people in class
  • Take your lessons seriously. Teacher ask you to do then you do k... nobody asked you for your opinion and nobody cares about your opinions... so shut the fuck up and BEND baby BEND!!!

Maybe I overused my energy to concentrate in class yesterday cos I was so exhausted that by 10pm, I was already sleeping. Sigh...

Say My Name

Semalam-dalam-sejarah.

I was in this monthly work-in-progress meeting with one of our top most management... actually the 2nd most powerful man in the entire company (and mind you, my company has over 3,000 employees... so much so that we had to book an entire exhibition hall to host our annual dinner).

So anyway... of the many years I worked here, I've never been addressed by my name by this top gun. At most he'd grunt "good" after our presentation.

But yesterday, he called me by my name! He knows my name! My name you know! Hooohooooo... Although this doesn't mean anything (as in I'm not being promoted or being awarded extra money etc etc) but still I was so damn happy! There was about 30 of us and he called me by my name!

Hehehe...

Crappy Monday

This morning started off rather badly. Out of the blue, the secretary forwarded the entire team a meeting scheduler at 9.55am (meeting was scheduled at 10am). There wasn't even any agenda on the meeting but since we were asked to attend, OK lor...

But guess what?

As the big boss came in, she looked at us and said:
Boss: Are we all in the same meeting?
Us: Ya, we were asked to attend. Apparently you told us to... Is this a team meeting or something?
Boss: NO! So ok, you guys can leave

Nabeh ar... it's not like we wanna barge into your meeting k... we were ASKED to attend. Such a waste of time and hey, you could have done it with a bit more tact but noooooooooo... you're the boss so we shouldn't care HOW you said it... but should just take the message and move on right???!!! Fcuk man!

New TV

Last week, I fetched my parents to Mid Valley to shop for a new TV. The battle was between a plasma TV and a LCD TV. My parents did all the questioning and asking cos honestly, all TVs look the same to me. In fact, I was happily enjoying myself at the refrigerator section... I mean, fridge these days are so damn cool with so many functions...

In the end, my parents bought a 42-inch plasma TV and on Friday, it was delivered to our house together with a free DVD player. Check out the TV... damn cool eh:


And the best part? I inherited the 34-inch TV and our old DVD player! Hoohooo.... and that means, I can watch Korean dramas in my room till my eyes fall out... muahahahaha (when I have the time). So ya... am gonna go TV rack shopping today!

Update: There, got a nice looking rack that matches the colour scheme of my cupboard and chest drawer. Come to think of it, plasma TVs are so much slimmer and nicer than the older generation TVs like this one here, so damn bulky but hey, I ain't complaining! Hehehe...