I was truly depressed today. Went to another office to get my junior staff to transfer relevant materials as handover materials to me. During the entire duration, it suddenly dawned upon me that both the junior and senior staff actually did a lot in the past 1 year on their own. With literally zero budget and cross functional support, they tried their very best in doing what they could.
In the end, what did they get? They got transferred to another company and was put under the scrutiny of the mother company. And worst still, got a boss whom has zero industry knowledge. Do I blame them for wanting out? I don't. As a matter of fact, I could understand and empathize.
However, it depresses me to know that it was such a pity that they wrote me off the first time we met. Or perhaps the moment they heard of my name and my designation before we even had a chance to work together. I asked myself over and over again, if I could have done anything in my capacity to prevent this... but I couldn't answer.
Abandon Ship
Socially Handicap
Thereafter, it was food time. The time I dreaded most cos' everyone will then be gathered in their own circles leaving newbies / outsiders like me feeling totally out of place. I left without eating. Felt like a total loser!
Worst still got an email from my staff saying that we'd need more time to brainstorm tomorrow cos' she has spoken to COO and has gotten a clearer view on what's required. Why la why am I so dumb? I should've taken the opportunity to talk to our COO. But no, I chose the coward way of running away! Sigh!
High Risk Lunch
At the round table, someone mentioned that Ms. B's niece is a confirmed PI case... and that Ms. B and her whole family just got back from a holiday with her niece and family. And guess what? Ms. B was at the round table with us, seated next to me. To be honest, I was shocked and angry! Shouldn't Ms. B self-quarantine herself??? Just because she doesn't have any symptoms, it doesn't mean that she is safe as yet... there's a 7-day period and today is only day 4!!! Can you imagine if anything were to happen??? She will be the CULPRIT spreading it to us all!!!
So you see... back to the point as to why it's now a PI:
Taken Lightly
"It's just a flu"...
"It's OK one... no fever also"...
The argument is of course while many has contracted PI, many has also cured... BUT harlow, don't forget that there were death cases as well!!! A lot of people died from this PI and the number's been growing everyday!!! If we continue to treat it lightly, it is akin to us helping spread the damn flu... It takes several days before the symptom surfaces... so if you're OK the first few days, it's doesn't mean a damn thing yet! There is a reason as to why the self-quarantine period is 7 days and not 3 days you stupid mada farker!!!
Ignorance
"It's OK, it won't happen to me"...
"It's OK one... it won't spread just because we're seating together"...
You stupid bitch... it's a PI cos' it's AIR BORNE and easily spread!!! Didn't you read the damn newspaper telling us not to even shake hands for awhile to avoid contacts???!!! If you should be quarantined, you should be... end of story!
Excuses
"I can't stay at home... I got meetings to attend"...
"I'm very busy la... cannot stay at home"...
Do you honestly think that if you spend your last living day working... the company will thank you??? NO... you will be the fucking CULPRIT who is STUPID and SELFISH enough to come to work and risk spreading the flu to every fucking one in the office... particularly when our office is air-tight!!!
Am so so so upset!!! If I know about the case of Ms. B and her niece earlier, I would've skipped lunch altogether!!!
4-Cars-Pile-Up
He was just telling me how hungry he was when suddenly there was a LOUD BANG that jerked us to the front forcefully... and because our car was motionless when we were BANGED, inertia had the back of our heads BANGED against the head rest violently.
The first thing I asked was "WHAT HAPPENED???!!!" (come to think of it, it was a dumb question... but I was in shock!)... OWLoon drove to the side of the road and told me to sit in the car... while he went down to inspect the damages...
My heart was pumping wildly and I was so scared!!! But I was also worried of OWLoon being out there by himself... What if he gets beaten up by crazy, psychotic, irate drivers??? So with all the courage that I found in my little "chicken" heart, I went to join OWLoon... with an UMBRELLA. It was drizzling... and the UMBRELLA was handy to shield from the rain as well as from psychotic beings should anyone decides to get emotional you know...
That was when we found out that 4 cars were affected in the accident... with ours being the least affected... The bumper’s dented and dislodged from its’ brackets and though the lights were not damaged, they were also dislodged from their original place... and the boot also can't be opened. But it was nothing compared to the other cars...
(Counting from our car; Toyota Altis), car no. 2 (Honda Odyssey) and car no. 3 (Honda Accord) were sandwiched and that meant they suffered front and rear damages... the culprit... car no. 4 (Proton Saga bearing a car plate WBW...) had the entire engine portion of the car smashed... I took photos of the car plates and the damages but stupid iPhone only comes with a 2MP camera with no flash, the photos were super blur...
Except ours, all the other cars had little children... kids were crying non stop from the shock, a bumper was lying in the middle of the road and 2 irate drivers (from car no. 2 and car no. 4 – the culprit) were arguing under the rain:
- Car no. 2: Eh, you BODOH ar??? Sudah LAMA berhenti di "traffic light", you tak nampak ka???
- Car no. 1 (The BOZO): Saya sudah HENTI LA... tapi lantai licin!!! Saya pun ada anak-anak di dalam kereta! Ini "accident" la BODOH... ingat saya sengaja ke???
Sigh... when accidents happen, everyone is defensive but the fact that the impact was great enough to damage 4 cars in a row meant that the BOZO was speeding when he knew for a fact that he had kids in the car and that the roads are wet!!! Bloody irresponsible!!!
Anyway, the following day, we bought all the numbers of the cars affected… front and back e.g. 1234 and 4321 in Magnum... but nehhh... nothing came out...
Osc*r My A*s!
The verdict?
I was terribly disturbed and depressed after watching both the movies and here’s why:
S.l.u.m.d.o.g. M.i.l.l.i.o.n.a.i.r.e.Really can’t stand the brutality of gangs who make use of children to beg. If that wasn’t bad enough, children who can sing are “blinded” so that they can beg for more and pretty little girls are raised with the intention of selling their virginity to the highest bidder! Not to mention, prostitutions, extreme poverty, racial clashes and discriminations of caste. So what if he won 20M rupees and got the girl in the end? The process of him obtaining both was just too painful to watch.
T.h.e. C.u.r.i.o.u.s. C.a.s.e. o.f. B.e.n.j.a.m.i.n. B.u.t.t.o.n.
This movie is also rather depressing cos’ I thought it depicted the fear that most of us think about at some point in our lives. To the women: The fear of getting old faster than their other half and to the men: The fear of not being taken seriously for their age i.e. not matured enough and the fear of commitment (too young to be responsible etc).
So what if the movie won best whatever whatever? The aging process is totally against the universe and is totally “salah”! Like how when he was a kid – his body was that of an old man. But when he was an old man – his physical appearance was that of a small boy and in the end, he died as a baby. Totally depressing man!
Would I watch them again? Hell NO!
Why can’t there be more happy movies out there? Is it not depressing enough that globally we’re at the brink of recession? Is it not depressing enough that global warming is happening sooner than expected? It is not depressing enough that people everywhere are dying because of war, diseases and natural disaster? Sigh…
Think I'd go watch Barney later... "I love you, you love me, we are happy family"...
Bob-sastrous
No = Yes?
He then proceeded to send me more evidence... from NST, from Sin Chew and from Malaysia Kini... hehehehe... By the time I was convinced that it is true, the jam was already horrific at all roads leading to petrol stations!!! I for one sat in a jam for nearly 30min! Since the cars barely inched... I decided to u-turn home with a half full tank... :(
That night my friend called and mentioned "Niamah" (Patrick Teoh's blog) bout how Mr. B always say no only to mean yes a little later...
- Like how he said he won't remarry - but he did a few months later
- Like how he said election won't be so soon - but parliament was dissolved the following day
- Like how he said next petrol increase won't be so soon - but it happened that same night!
Morale of the story? No = Yes...
But then again, he also said he won't resign from BN right??? :P
Recall the Secret
- Mid Jan: I started the year tearing my hair off for a project that involved a celebrity and a whole truckload of project team members to deal with...
- Early Feb: Then came CNY... which came and went super quick... but leaving me a fat wallet
- Early Feb: Along the way bitch-from-hell came back into my life and made peace...
- Mid Feb: Then came the frustrating bit bout managing people, complexities, timelines and budget!!!
- Early Mar: And now I'm tearing my hair again at another project revolving yet another celebrity...
Things were so bad that I had to print out The Secret's summary sheet and have it stuck in front of me to help me recall the fact that life can be beautiful if only you dare to think, ask and believe that you've already got it (in your mind) to actually make it materialize. It's really that simple and I've benefited tremendously from it before so why the struggle now???
I've gone from quite the "chio" looking chick to a haggard bitch with breakouts, dark circles and messy hair... I've gone from the talkative ever smilling person (at the time when I practiced The Secret) to an introvert who spends endless hours tinkling on this stupid laptop...
The only thing that remained unchanged was my relationship which has somewhat reached a new height this year. Apart from that, I spend my life working... and when I'm not working, I spend it thinking bout work... Is this it? Is life really all about work? If yes... I think I ought to give myself a big slap and to remind myself that I must be MAD to think so...
Sigh...
P.S. Will try to talk more bout happy things soon... but for now, I just needed to BITCH out LOUD!!! There's really MORE to life than THIS!!! REMEMBER THIS MAEMEE!!!
Long Overdue
We achieved Independance in 1957... some 51 years ago but it is only now that the G suddenly realised that Indians are located not just in Selangor???!!! That there are Indians in KL too???!!! Hmmm... interesting isn't it...
User Problem?
- Me: So... this model is not very good isn't it... this is the 3rd time the button came off (tho I was able to push it back in every other time)...
- IT Guy: Ermmm... not really... sometimes... it depends... on the... USER!
My colleagues laughed hysterically like mad cows! Stupid! :P
Mahai Punya Service
Plus I have to change tyre cos all 4 are "botak" already. But this stupid Honda quoted me RM168 NETT per tyre! Think I better go and ask around first before I buy from them... FUCK SHIT!!!
Judge This: Part V
I declared W-A-R with Bitch-from-Hell bout 2 years ago. Since then, we've not spoken to each other and I've stopped visiting my bf's family (except the mandatory Chinese New Year visits). So for the past 2 years, I've only visited the parents once a year and with her, no contacts what-so-ever.
- Out of the blue, she SMS-ed me last Sunday at 2.37am! "Hi, it's me, your sister n law. How r u?"
I was out gallivanting the whole night and by the time I saw my phone, it was already 4 plus in the morning! Thinking that she's drunk or something, I decided to just ignore it. But I forwarded the message to my bf and said: "From your sister. Mad one!"
- But when my bf came the next day, I saw this in his Inbox (ya, I openly read his SMS-es, sue me): "I SMS her last night. How come she didn't reply?"
Hmmm... something must be going on here. For one, she's been asking my bf to ask me out a couple of times. But being the stubborn cow I am, I ignored her. SHE OWS ME A FUCKING APOLOGY! But this! I'm rather certain that this is another one of her dirty plot to put me in a bad light again! The fact that she complaint to my bf would mean that she complaint to her parents too...
- I can almost imagine her bitching out loud to her family: "I already SMS her ma, but she also never reply. No manners!"
So to protect myself (and after consulting my family)... I replied with this, 12 hours later: "Hi, I'm doing great! How do you do?"
That SMS tho short... was a rather hard one to compose... (1) There's NO WAY I'm gonna call her sister in law. I'm not even married yet! Mad or what? (2) I had to refrain myself from saying... "I am doing gggrrrEEEAAATTTTTT without YOU in my life BITCH!!!" (3) I don't give 2 hoots bout how she's doing... but apparently, I must be courteous to ask her how she was...
Honestly, I didn't expect her to reply straightaway...
- But shortly after that she replied with this: "So far so good. Long time never see you already. Maybe we can meet up some of these day"
Again... replying was tough especially when I am still so full of anger... but I replied: "Sure. :)"
So... am I gonna go out with her the next time she asks me out? Nahhh... she can fuck off for all I care... afterall, what she did 2 years ago was terrible to not just me alone but my family and my bf too! So if she thinks she can get away so easily... she can dream on.
It's about time she learns not to intimidate or bully other people just because she's the eldest in the family! And ohhh... doesn't mean that when we keep quiet, everything's ok. In my case, I've been patient long enough and after what happened 2 years ago, I told myself that I won't take anymore CRAP from this Bitch-from-Hell! Don't fuck around with me bitch!!!
Click on these links to view the earlier entries on what happened:
Judge This [Part 1/4]
Judge This [Part 2/4]
Judge This [Part 3/4]
Judge This [Part 4/4]
Nevertheless it felt great that she's the one making the move to reconcile first after 2 long years! Whether or not we're gonna be ok in the future is a different story altogether.
Failed Diet
"Nasi lemak" for breakfast
My neighbour bought me "nasi lemak" from Hoca Coffee. We've been taking bout this "nasi lemak" for over a week now. The last time we wanted to buy it, it was all sold out. This "nasi lemak" is very nice cos the "sambal" is sweeeeeeet :)
Doughnuts before lunch
Then one of my colleagues went to Pavillion and bought back a dozen of yummy J.Co doughnuts! I've tastest only the Glazzy and the Almond ones so when he bought back the variety, I couldn't stop myself... There were 4 different types of doughnuts: chocolate, mango, blueberry and tiramisu. I had 1 mango and 1 tiramisu... soooooooooooooooo yummy I tell you!
"Nasi kandar" for lunch
Came lunch time, my neighbour asked if I wanna go and get fruits with her and I went like: "Dowan la... I wanna go and eat" to which she replied: "Aren't you supposed to be on a diet?". Hehehehehe... my answer was: "Nola, mad one... hungry la" and we all went out to Pelita for "nasi kandar". Somemore mine was "banjir kandar".
Nearly had Pizza for Tea
Came tea time, someone offered me pizza. And since I love pizzas oh soooo much, I nearly took a slice! But luckily my neighbour reminded me bout my diet. I managed to refrain myself...
Not only was it a failed attempt to diet, I think I also gained a few additional pounds from all the calories that day! Sigh...
Entrepreneur's Shit
I hate being an entrepreneur's gf. I fucking hate it. My family and my bf tells me that I should be understanding as start ups are often the toughest and sacrifices (of personal time especially) are unavoidable.
Ya... it's all fine and dandy once in awhile but bloody hell... I used to see him only on weekends, then it reduced to only Sundays cos he has to work on Saturdays and now I don't get to see him even on Sundays!!! The last time I saw him was for dinner on 27 May 2007 and that's like over 2 fucking weeks!!!
Sigh... Relationships can be so damn frustrating... While I told him that I understand and that he should concentrate in doing what he has to, deep down I feel disappointed and lonely. Fuck, I'm only human!!!
Baaad Day
After that incident, the entire day went on fuzzily and I felt miserable.
For one... my dear colleague asked if I wanna "tapau" a quick lunch at DeliFrance so I said OK cos it was 2-ish and I was hungry. Since I was located at a different level, somehow I reached ground floor first. As I was still upset from the earlier conversation that affected me so damn much, I called my colleague:
Me: Hi, where are you?
Colleague: I'm still waiting for the lift wor...
Me: Then it's OK la... I'm downstairs already, I go first...
Colleague: Wei, wait for me la... we go together-gether...
Me: (I can't remember exactly what I said but it was mean) I cannot stand around waiting. I got things to do!
Colleague: Oh ok ok...
So dear colleague (if you're reading this)... I'm so sorry if I've offended you k. I wasn't in the right frame of mind at that time and was agitated. Tried waiting for you but my feet wouldn't stand still... so I made a move first. I'm terribly sorry k... don't be angry wor...
Secondly, I spent the entire day scrambling from one meeting to the other and worst still I missed 2 meetings today. The latter was an important meeting and everybody waited for me (although I did sent an SMS to mention that I'd be late and that the meeting should start first). I was summoned to my boss' room (10 minutes prior to the meeting that I was supposed to attend) for a discussion and conference call with one of our partners and I accidentally left my phone on my desk. By the time I finished the conference call, the earlier meeting has already ended. And so, a sub meeting had to be created to discuss certain items that required my views and inputs. And becos of the unplanned meeting, I found myself late for yet another meeting.
Lastly, I've got tonnes of work to be done still and it's already past midnight! I've been sleeping at 3am everyday (if not later) since Sunday and honestly, I'm so damn tired and exhausted. Every damn day, I have the urge to break down and cry but everyday I swallow the tears back. Nobody knows what I'm feeling as I try to keep it to myself so that people around me doesn't worry about me unnecessarily. But I sometimes wonder if it's the right move cos deep down, I feel lonely at times when I reflect upon my own life and the obstacles I face. Growing up is such a pain... nobody said it was gonna be easy and yet nobody said anything bout it being so damn tough either... SIGH...
Wealth Turning Into Water
MACIPET I tell you.
"Kin choi far shui"... Pui!
Hint: Breaking news... shares... suspended... FCUK man!
Blind Pussy
Shit man!
I mean... this is so damn shitty ya!
Weekdays To Fall Sick
But harlow... what happens if there's an emergency??? I know... the "keh leh feh" docs would then quickly call the experienced doctors to come back la right... But pity the poor patients man... You mean they are expected to wait in pain or worst still go home without medication and come back on a weekday for detailed checks??? WTF???!!!
My parents had been sick for the past 2 days with non-stop fever, cough and flu. But my mom's condition was more serious. Yesterday she experienced numbness on her face (couldn't feel her own lips even). So today we went to Pantai Medical in Bangsar to get her checked. Doc mentioned that the numbness could be a symptom of stroke thus she was asked to immediately take a series of scans and tests. Meanwhile, the specialist was so called on the way.
But once the brain scan showed no signs of stroke, the doc was quick to say, come back tomorrow for a detailed check by another specialist. And in the meantime, my mom was asked to stop taking the antibiotic prescribed by another "keh leh feh" doctor... and yet, she wasn't given any medication for tonight!
So can you imagine our frustration??? We were all worried like hell but the docs can't seemed to be bothered to take any serious actions. Just a casual: Come back tomorrow...
Really, I think there is something very wrong with that attitude. In Chinese, there is a saying that goes "Yee Ceh Fu Mou Sum" which is loosely translated as doctors are like parents - I mean when you're sick, your parents would be the one who would be the most worried about you and would do anything and everything that they can to ensure that you get well... But doctors today??? Sigh...
So I guess the moral of the story is really...
IF YOU WANNA GET SICK - MAKE SURE YOU CHOOSE TO FALL SICK ON A WEEKDAY!
You may then ask:
Who wants to get sick in the first place...
And how in the world can one choose to fall sick on a weekday???
My point precisely!
Perhaps someone should tell that to the Health Ministry.
Greedy Bitch
I was super pissed off this morning with a colleague of mine.
First thing first, I'm not even close to her.
So when she asked me bout my bonus, I said it was good.
But from then on, everytime she sees me, she says:
YOU must buy lunch!
At first I ignored her but she kept repeating herself!
Worst still, she happily popped by my place this morning and said:
SOMEBODY MUST BUY LUNCH!!!
And proceeded to tell the same thing to my colleague:
SHE MUST BUY LUNCH!!!
I was so damn pissed off that I had to grip the table to deliver this note with enough sarcasm.
So in a low voice and with a deadly stare, I said:
Why must I buy you lunch? (pause)
I worked my ass off for my own bonus. (pause)
What have you done that warrants the lunch? (pause)
Did you play any role in helping me complete my tasks? (raised eyebrow at her)
Then gave her a really sweet smile...
I got the reaction I wanted. She was struck dumb for a few seconds!
But she recovered and said: Joking la... yor...
Now this is what I don't understand...
I get good bonus and therefore I need to buy you lunch???
Who the fuck are you???
Don't you know that this is what they call the PERFORMANCE bonus???
If you are an incompetent bitch at work and your bonus sucks, is that my problem???
So if I am rich and you are poor...
Am I OBLIGATED to donate my wealth to you???
Back to the same question:
WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE... YOU GREEDY BITCH!!!
I SPEND MY MONEY THE WAY I CHOOSE TO AND YOU HAVE NO FUCKING RIGHT TO DEMAND ANYTHING FROM ME.
NOW BUGGER OFF ALREADY!
Lightning Cam
You see... In our team, there's this designated photographer. Everytime we celebrate any of the team members' birthdays or if we have special lunches or special dinners, she's the assigned one to take photographs... Let's call her LightningCam...
There was this once, a few of us from the team were required to submit our group photo to be included in the internal newsletter. All our shots were nicely taken (again by LightningCam)... but since we had some extra time (at the location we were at), somebody casually mentioned that LightningCam should take impromptu candid shots of us so that we appear relaxed and casual! So LightningCam just stood in front of us while we were yakking away and out of a sudden, said OK... Without us noticing, she had taken like 1,000 photos of us talking and laughing animatedly. Needless to say, none of those "candid" shots were selected to be included in the newsletter. It was the nicely planned ones that were shortlisted.
BUT...
Ever since that incident, LightningCam started taking "candid" photos at EVERY DAMN function. The best part was, LightningCam would silently walk around holding her camera and when we're ready to pose, she has completed her photo taking sessions.
Today, she sent out 2 1/2 emails to the team:
- The first one was colleague A's birthday - 14MB of photos (already zipped)
- The second one was colleague B's birthday - a whopping 85MB of photos (again zipped)
- By the time she sent the 3rd one... all of us were already screaming and cursing... Why? Cos (1) Our mailbox was immediately full (2) Our laptops hung while trying to save the super large file (3) LightningCam sent us an SMS saying that our mailbox was FULL when we were desperately trying to save and delete her super big ass mails!!!
Here's another one:
Sigh...