Wake Up Call

Last week... I went for a complete blood test cos the morning before, oil literally leaked out of my ass as I was going through my morning poo-poo session. Worried that there may be something wrong with my liver, pancreas or even stomach, I went to BP Lab.

On Monday, when I collected my results... everything was ok. Except one particular reading... some antibody called Anti-EBV-VCA (lgA) where it measured a reading of 2.18 vs. a normal of 0.8. All I knew was that area indicates a nose area and that the reading was higher than it should be.

My childhood friend who is a GP told me that he'd check with his ENT colleagues (Ears, Nose and Throat specialist) and in the meantime, I was asked to stay off cigarettes. Bout 8 plus that night, my friend called in an urgent tone. He managed to get hold of his ENT colleague and found out that the antibody is usually only found in cancer patients. Particularly nasal cancer patients. I was asked to see an ENT specialist immediately to get my nose checked.

I was on my way home when he called... so I went into one of the clinics for a second opinion on what the antibody was. The GP I saw was even MORE crude... Upon finding out that I was a smoker, she immediately announced that I was a high risk. Her words left me totally shaken: "This is a cancer marker. You reading was tripled what is normal. You must see an ENT specialist immediately. I'll write you a referral letter".

That night, I had to put on a brave front when I reached home. Didn't want my parents to worry unnecessarily and wasn't sure if I can put on the front if they are aware of the issue. Thus I went to bed super early that night. It was one of the longest nights in my life... I was so terrified and afraid that I got up countless times drenched in cold sweat. I was practically shivering uncontrollably and was praying all night long.

Alan got up at 6am the following morning and drove from his hometown to KL. At 9am, we were already at Sunway MC. Though I was terribly afraid, I had not shed a single tear before that... But the minute the doctor inserted the long-metal-rod (with a tiny camera at the tip) into my nostrils, my tears flowed non-stop. My heart was pounding like mad and I could barely speak. I was so afraid that I kept my eyes closed while Alan looked at the monitor and asked the doctor all the necessary questions.

At the end, the doctor said that there was nothing wrong with my nose. Though the reading wasn't very high (readings are usually waaay higher if there are tumours... usually on a scale of 10-ish to 20-ish) I was asked to do the same blood test again 3 months later to see if the reading drops.

On the way home, I spent a good 30min crying my eyes out in the car... releasing all the pent up anxiety, stress and fear that I suffered the night before... Never have I been so afraid and terrified of dying in my life! And for the right or wrong reasons... I told myself that I am never gonna light another cigarette again!

P.S. Am so glad and thankful that Alan was with me all along... Though he quietly assured me that everything will be fine... I knew that deep down he was equally as worried. When he looked at me... I could see love, worry and fear all mashed up in his eyes... SOB SOB... and that... was how we spent our 11th anniversary together!