Ultimate Stress

It's less than a month away from the wedding dinner on Nov 29... Thought it'd be memorable to capture my feelings at this juncture...

Previously, prior to our RoM earlier this year... I felt excited and nervous at the same time... Excited cos' we're finally tying the knot after 12 years of courtship (come to think of it, the blings play an important part too... haha). And nervous cos' we are legalizing our marriage which IS afterall a big commitment... for both husband and wife...

But surprisingly, after RoM... I still feel pretty 'single'... as in... I don't have the urge to suddenly call OWLoon's parents what I call my parents... Or like when OWLoon is brought up during conversations at times, I have this internal struggle of whether to address him as 'my husband' or 'my boyfriend'...

The reasons are simple... To me, we are only officially married once we go through the full Chinese customs of 'Guo Dai Lei'... prayers to ancentors... tea ceremony... and of course the banquet dinner...

Call me old fashion or whatever... but these customs are truly important to me... Hence... with less than a month away from the above-mentioned... I found myself 100x more nervous... and possibly 1,000x more stressed out...

I've been having sleepless nights for over a month now... and thus... am perpetually tired...

The near-porcelain skin I had during my pre-wedding shoot is now breaking out with loads of tiny little pimples on my forehead! I feel like I suddenly have more wrinkles too...

At times... I have no appetite to eat and could go on living on 1 meal a day... But at other times, I eat like I've not eaten in dayssssssss... Hence my weight fluctuates...

I get irritated and upset very quickly... and often "hide" my inner feelings... but because of this... I find myself with the sudden urge to cry for no apparent reasons...

I procrastinate when it comes to my wedding plans. I used to think that wedding planning's 'sup sup sui' given that I've single-handedly planned and implemented projects of way bigger magnitude! But what I didn't know was that... when it comes to things that matters to you most... it's a different ball game altogether cos' you'll just be too sucked in... and are overly emo about it...

To cut the long story short... am pretty stressed out...

-- Posted from my iPhone 3GS