Baaad Day

I was extremely upset today and was totally affected by something that someone said to me. Although the person did try to make up for it later by being nice, friendly and supportive, it was too late. I was terribly upset and not to mention HURT with his remarks. In the end, I realized that it was the final push that I needed for me to do something that I've always wanted to do and yet was too comfortable to do anything about.

After that incident, the entire day went on fuzzily and I felt miserable.

For one... my dear colleague asked if I wanna "tapau" a quick lunch at DeliFrance so I said OK cos it was 2-ish and I was hungry. Since I was located at a different level, somehow I reached ground floor first. As I was still upset from the earlier conversation that affected me so damn much, I called my colleague:
Me: Hi, where are you?
Colleague: I'm still waiting for the lift wor...
Me: Then it's OK la... I'm downstairs already, I go first...
Colleague: Wei, wait for me la... we go together-gether...
Me: (I can't remember exactly what I said but it was mean) I cannot stand around waiting. I got things to do!
Colleague: Oh ok ok...

So dear colleague (if you're reading this)... I'm so sorry if I've offended you k. I wasn't in the right frame of mind at that time and was agitated. Tried waiting for you but my feet wouldn't stand still... so I made a move first. I'm terribly sorry k... don't be angry wor...

Secondly, I spent the entire day scrambling from one meeting to the other and worst still I missed 2 meetings today. The latter was an important meeting and everybody waited for me (although I did sent an SMS to mention that I'd be late and that the meeting should start first). I was summoned to my boss' room (10 minutes prior to the meeting that I was supposed to attend) for a discussion and conference call with one of our partners and I accidentally left my phone on my desk. By the time I finished the conference call, the earlier meeting has already ended. And so, a sub meeting had to be created to discuss certain items that required my views and inputs. And becos of the unplanned meeting, I found myself late for yet another meeting.

Lastly, I've got tonnes of work to be done still and it's already past midnight! I've been sleeping at 3am everyday (if not later) since Sunday and honestly, I'm so damn tired and exhausted. Every damn day, I have the urge to break down and cry but everyday I swallow the tears back. Nobody knows what I'm feeling as I try to keep it to myself so that people around me doesn't worry about me unnecessarily. But I sometimes wonder if it's the right move cos deep down, I feel lonely at times when I reflect upon my own life and the obstacles I face. Growing up is such a pain... nobody said it was gonna be easy and yet nobody said anything bout it being so damn tough either... SIGH...